Ethan stood stock still as he watched doctors race in and out of Theresa's room.  "C'mon baby
   don't you dare check out on me yet."

 
   "Who are you calling?" Miguel asked as he walked up to where Kay was on the phone.

   "Whitney." She said.  "And then Mom."

   "Why Grace?"

   "Cause someone needs to take care of the boys tonight.  Sheridan needs rest and I am not
   leaving till you do."

   "Baby"

   "Don't argue with me Miguel you know you won't win." Kay said just before she snapped to
   attention.  "Whitney Russell-Maxwell please.  This is Kay Lopez-Fitzgerald."

   "I'm gonna go back to the waiting room." Miguel said kissing Kay lightly before he left.

 

   "Dr. Russell what's wrong with Theresa?" Luis asked, fearing the answer.

   "There's a lot of damage and internal bleeding.  The fact that she hasn't woken up yet isn't a
   good sign either.  We've got her stable but I won't lie to you at this point it could go either way.
   Luis you might want to call Father Lonigan for last rites."

   "Oh my God." Miguel said as he felt for his seat.

   "Can we see her?"

   "One at a time." Eve said before she left to confer with another doctor.

   "I'll go call Father Lonigan." Sheridan said.

   "Thank you." Luis said as he slowly walked into Theresa's room.

   Sheridan looked around her.  Miguel was being held by Kay who had just gotten back and
   Ethan, oh God, she didn't think she'd ever seen Ethan look so totally dispirited and crushed
   since Theresa had left town.

   "Ethan?" She said softly reaching out a hand.

   "I'm gonna take a walk."

   "Are you okay?"

   "I'm not sure." Ethan said walking away.

    Ethan's walk brought him to the hospital chapel.  He sat down in the front pew and put his head
   in his hands as he allowed the tears to come.  He hadn't wanted to cry in front of Luis or
   Miguel.  For Luis it was about not giving him the satisfaction of seeing him lose it and he had
   already cried in front of Miguel once this lifetime.

 "I thought you loved me."

   "I do.  Resa I love you more then anything."

   "Stop lying!" She demanded tearfully.

   "I'm not lying.  Resa what's wrong with you?" He reached out to touch her but she backed
   away.

   "I saw you Ethan."

   "What are you talking about?"

   "I am talking about what you and Gwen did last night."

   Ethan went totally white.  "What?"

   "That's right I know Ethan.  So tell me something how long were planning on sleeping with both
   of us?"

   "Resa listen to me for a minute."

   "Do not call me Resa.  You don't have the right anymore."

   "Theresa just listen to me a minute.  Let me explain.  I was drunk."

   "That is not an excuse Ethan!"

   "I know but-"

   "No.  No buts about it.  You slept with Gwen Hotchkiss while you and I were still together.
   There is no excuse for that."

   "What are you saying?"

   "I never thought I would be saying this but I never want to see you again."

   "You don't mean that." Ethan said while icy fear settled around his heart.

   "Don't tell me what I do and do not mean."

   "Theresa don't do this, please." Ethan pleaded.  He loved her and he didn't want to lose her.

   "I've already done it.  Good-bye Ethan." Theresa turned and walked out of the room.  Ethan
   started after her as tears fell down his face.  As he got to the stairs Miguel met him.

   "She doesn't want to see you so I suggest leaving before Luis gets home and I let him handle
   you."

   "Miguel please let me see her."

   "No." Miguel said as he forced Ethan back to the front door and then shut the door in his face.
 

   Ethan lifted his head and reached into his coat pocket.  He had quickly put something in there
   before he and Kay left to come here.  It was the St. Jude medallion Theresa had given him the
   morning after they made love for the first time.  She had explained that he was the patron saint
   of lost causes and that she had bought it when they had seemed like a lost cause.  She also
   told him she had prayed to him and that she firmly believed that those prayers had helped them
   come together.  Ethan had never been much for praying but he was willing to try anything right
   now.

   "Please, please don't take her away from me again.  She has sons who need her and I need
   her so much.  Please don't take her away just as you're giving her back." He said softly, hoping
   that whatever saints and God existed would allow Theresa to live on.

   "Ethan?" A voice said softly.

   Ethan looked up and saw Sam Bennett in the door.  During the time he had thought Sam was
   his father the two had bonded and there were times when Ethan still went to Sam for advice.

   "You know?"

   "Kay called and asked if Grace and I would watch the boys for the night.  How are you?" Sam
   asked sitting down next Ethan.

   "Scared.  Angry."

   "I can relate.  Seeing someone you love so close to death is enough to scare anyone.  As for
   the angry part I remember what that was like too."

   "I don't want to lose her.  I couldn't take it again."

   "Have you seen her?"

   "I didn't bother asking.  Luis won't let me in."

   "C'mon let's go see if we can't convince him to let you in."

   <><><><>

   "No way Sam." Luis said.

   "Luis, look at him." Sam said, pointing to where Ethan was looking at Theresa through the
   glass.  "He deserves to say his good-byes too."

   "Alright fine.  Ten minutes that's it."

   "Fifteen." Sam bargained.

   "Fine." Luis conceded.

   "Thank you." Sam walked over to Ethan.  "I got you fifteen minutes."

   "Thanks Sam." Ethan said as he slowly entered Theresa's room.  He sat down and gingerly
   picked up her hand.  "I'm supposed to be saying good-bye to you but I can't do it.  Maybe that's
   because I did that once already this lifetime.  Resa you can't leave me again, you hear me?
   And the boys?  What are they gonna do without you?  They need their mother and I need you to
   help me know what to do with them.  You said I was good with kids but I am not the one they've
   been with since before they were born.  We're a family Resa, we always have been even when
   I didn't know it.  So come on.  Open your eyes and look at me.  Tell me you still love me as
   much as I love you."  Ethan kissed her hand and prayed that somehow she heard him.

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