Theresa wasn't two steps in the door when Josh and Eli came running into her arms.
"Mommy mommy look what daddy made," giggled Eli holding up a hand drawn picture of a plane.
"Oh very nice," said Theresa smiling.
"Yeah Ethan says we can go on the Crane plane. Anywhere we want. I said Istanbul." said Josh.
"Istanbul," laughed Theresa where did you here about that?"
"Books Ethan bought me," said Josh smiling proudly.
"Hey," said Ethan coming into the foyer with a plate of cookies. "It's time for them to go already?"
"Yeah its late and they had a long day I want to get them home."
"Can't they stay just a little while longer? asked Ethan twisting his face into a fake pout.
"Please mommy?" asked Josh
"Please mommy," chimed in Eli.
"Please mommy," laughed Ethan.
"I don't know," said Theresa starting to weakening a little.
"You know what boys," smiled Ethan mischievously pulling his sons towards him. I think mommy might be convinced by a visit from the tickle monster."
"What," said Theresa suddenly realizing what was about to happen, "don't
you dare." But it was two late before she knew it she was being mercifully
tickled she laughed uncontrollably relishing this playful time with Ethan
and the boys.
Gwen watched the exchange from the stair well, tears of jealousy and confusion fell down her face. She couldn't help but wonder if her life with Ethan would ever be the way it was again before they returned to Harmony, before Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald ever entered their lives.
Miguel paced up and down the hospital corridor and looked at his watch for the fifth time.
"What's taking so long?" he asked looking at his watch again.
"Honey Sheridan is in labor these things do take time," laughed Kay putting her arms around her husband.
"Hey I know I just thought she would be out by now."
"Well speaking as somebody who has been through this I can tell you its no walk in the park," said Theresa thinking back to the day her twins were born. It was the happiest day of her life. Perfect except for the one absences she would never get use to.
Luis Lopez Fitzgerald had seen many things in his life, but he had never
seen anything as beautiful as his wife holding their son in her arms. Colin
Lopez-Fitzgerald. Life just didn't get any better then this.
Ethan shook his head in amazement. Watching Sheridan holding Colin made him think about how much he missed not being able to hold his own sons when they were babies. He watched Colin again through the hospital glass and knew what he had to do. His thought were interrupted by an arm on his shoulder.
"Where is Gwen?" asked Theresa as Ethan turned to face her. Theresa was mildly curious about why she wouldn't be here for the birth of her friend's baby.
"She's not feeling well," said Ethan looking away.
"She hasn't been feeling well lately has she? The boys tell me that they hardly see her when they visit you. She's always out or in bed sick.
"This whole thing has been hard on Gwen. She's not dealing with it as well as I like."
"Ethan I don't want to get you into your personal relationship with Gwen."
"Then don't," said Ethan more snappishly then he'd like.
"Ethan if Gwen can't deal with Eli and Josh this can never work."
"Theresa I want you to go back to New York."
"What?" asked Theresa in disbelief."If you think that I am going to leave my children.."
"No," said Ethan putting his hand on her face. "That's not what I mean. Watching Sheridan with Colin has made me realize how much a child needs its mother. This situation isn't working. As much as I love our sons the way things are now will only end in them being torn apart between our families. I realize now that it's selfish of me to try to make you stay in Harmony. I wanted my family. I wanted the things I lost, but I realized that I never really had those things."
Theresa couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had put herself on the line, had put her sons on the line and now he was rejecting her, them for Gwen it was happening all over, he was right this had to end.
"You're right Ethan maybe I should go back to my life in New York.," said Theresa trying to mask her pain. " Eli and Josh will always be your sons. I'll never keep them from you."
"I wouldn't let you. I want them to always know that I love them," he
said looking at Theresa so intensely that she wasn't sure if he was just
talking about their children or her.
"Is Ethan back yet?" asked Gwen pouring herself a drink and sitting next to Julian. She and Ethan had rarely spoke in the last few days. Not since he had told her that Theresa planned to leave town with the boys.
"No he has allowed Theresa to take my grandchildren. He's over at the Lopez's saying good-bye to fatherhood and my chances at being those children's grand father."
"I'm sorry it must be terrible for Ethan to have to watch his children go."
"Well," said Julian taking another swig of his drink. "It's his own fault. there is no way that I would let any woman take away a child of mines. Oh perk up my dear Gwen as we speak Miss Lopez-Fitzgerald and her twins are out of Harmony and out of your lives .You won," said Julian as he made his way out of the living room.
"Yeah I won," said Gwen suddenly unable to stop the flow of tears and he feeling that this was not the way things were suppose to be.
Ethan watched Miguel load the last of Theresa's luggage in and tried to fight back the empty feeling that was forming in the pit of his stomach. The last time Theresa had left it had been without even saying good-bye and he had cursed her for it. For not giving him the chance to try and change her mind. Now here she was leaving again. A few minutes away from saying good-bye and leaving his life again and he wasn't sure which was worse.
Miguel looked at Ethan and couldn't help but feel sorry for him. "Poor Guy," he thought. "Anybody could see that he was miserable." He wished not for the first time since this whole thing had started that there was something he could do to bring the two of them together, but if its one thing that he knew from his own life its that you have to realize on your own that you belong with someone.
"Take care of your self big sister," said Miguel pulling Theresa into a tight hug.
"I will. And you take care of yourself and say good bye to Kay for me. "
"I will," he said tuning around to leave.
"Hey," said Theresa calling out to her brother. "I expect to hear about some more potential nieces or nephews soon."
"Bye Theresa," smiled Miguel as he walked away from his sister. "I'll find Kay and get right on it.
"Have you said good-bye to Luis and Sheridan?"
"Yes I did just now. They are just saying good-bye to the boys they wanted to spend some more time with Colin."
"You know it looks like rain. Maybe you should wait a few more days before you go."
"Ethan..."
"Just to be on the safe side," said Ethan continuing his veiled plea for Theresa to stay.
"We'll be ok Ethan we just have to leave now."
"Are you sure that there is nothing that I can say or do to get you to stay?" Asked Ethan walking up to Theresa as she opened her car door.
"No Ethan. I can't stay here. It hurt to much. All this time, all these years, enough is enough it has to end."
Theresa looked into his eyes, the eyes and fought back tears had been the object of so many of his dreams and all at once knew that he would never love anything or anybody the way he loved her. She was hurting him and she hated it, but she was hurting to and it had to stop still as she looked at him she knew without a shadow of a doubt that she would never love anybody the way that she loved him.
He returned her gaze so sweet and intensely and when he cupped her face in his hands it was all she could do not to throw herself into his arms.
"Resa," he whispered in her ear. "Stay."
She was under his spell again just like always and she opened he mouth to speak when she noticed the boys coming out. The spell was broken.
"Mommy Mommy Colin smiled at me," said Eli running into his mother's arms.
"No he didn't he smiled at me." protested Josh.
"Well guys Colin is just a little baby I don't think he can smile yet," said Ethan rubbing his sons hair.
The boys looked down a little disappointedly and shrugged still not entirely convinced.
"I wish we could be here when he can smile," said Eli sadly.
"Hey," said Theresa kneeling down to face her son. "You'll see Colin all the time. Just because we won't be living in Harmony doesn't mean we won't still see everybody."
The boy nodded.
"So are you guys all packed?" asked Theresa fixing her sons' jacket.
"You come to daddy," shouted Josh his face all of a sudden focused on Ethan.
Ethan blinked backed tears at finally hearing his son call him his daddy and felt angry that he didn't know when he would here it again.
"I can't sport you remember we talked about this already. Daddy is going to stay here but I promise to see you as much as I can."
"No," said Josh stomping his feet. "I don't want to go. Daddy comes too."
"Honey," you'll see daddy soon I promise. "Now we have to get in the car and go now give daddy a hug good-bye."
"No," said Josh running into the cars with tears streaming down his face,
Ethan watched his sons tears and fought back his own.
"He hates me," said Ethan sadly.
"No he doesn't. He just doesn't understand," said Theresa putting her
arm on his shoulder to reassure him." He just doesn't understand."
"Well that makes two of us."
"Ethan.." said Theresa suddenly feeling guilty.
"Bye daddy," said Eli running up to hug his father.
"By sport," said Ethan pulling his son into a big bear hug. "I love
you never forget that."
"I love you too daddy."
"Ok honey get in the car," said Theresa turning back to face Ethan.
"Ethan look.."
"Just go Theresa," said Ethan tuning to watch his two sons. "Just go."
Luis looked at Ethan drive off and and shook his head. He had spent most of his adult life hating the Cranes and with good reason. They had done so much to hurt his family and in his mind Sheridan and the twins have been the only exception to that twisted gene pool. But watching Ethan tonight, the look on his face as he said good-bye to his sons he began to understand for the first time that Ethan did love his sons. He thought about Colin and how much he meant to him and how much it would kill him if he ever lost him or Sheridan. Maybe he was wrong to encourage this separation. Maybe he should have been trying to bring them together.
"Yeah," he thought smiling at the irony. "Me playing matchmaker for Ethan and Theresa must be one of the 12 signs of the Apocalypse."
His thoughts were interrupted by the feel of his beautiful wife hands behind him.
"There was nothing that you could have done to change Theresa's mind,"
said Sheridan hugging her husband for behind.
"I know I just wish..."
"What," asked Sheridan curious about her husband's pensive mood."
"Well I just wish that Ethan and Theresa could have worked things out."
"Excuse me?" asked Sheridan turning her husband to face her. "Did you just say that you wish Ethan had convinced Theresa to stay with him?"
"Yeah."
"Ok who are you and what have you done with my husband?"
"Look I know that I haven't thought much of your nephew."
"You have referred to him as a pompous, arrogant, user on many occasions" said Sheridan still unable to grasp her husband's change of heart
"Look I'm never going to be the guys biggest fan, but having Colin has made me realize how important it is to have your children with you. I mean Ethan could have tried to take Eli and Josh away from Theresa, but he didn't. He loved all three of them enough not too. I mean maybe Theresa was right about the guy after all. Maybe he isn't all that bad. I mean for a Crane.
"Yeah, for a Crane," said Sheridan kissing her husband. As long as she lived Sheridan didn't think she would ever stopped being amazed by this wonderful man that she married.
The trip back to the mansion had been the longest drive of Ethan's life. Watching Theresa and the boys drive away was like watching all of his hopes and dreams vanish before him. He knew that it was the right thing to do. Theresa deserved to raise her sons without having to be afraid of what his family would do and Gwen deserved some peace as well. Still no matter how many times he told himself that he would still see them, that this would all work out for the best a part of him wanted nothing more then to go after them to scoop the three of them in his arms and ...
"What Crane? asked Ethan bitterly reproaching himself. "Live happily
ever after. "You loss your chance for that a long time ago."
Gwen looked up from the photo album as Ethan walked in. She didn't have to be psychic to see how much pain he was in. Two more children lost to him. None of this was right.
"They got off ok," said Ethan barely above a whisper."
"That's good," said Gwen not looking up.
What are you doing looking at old pictures?" asked Ethan his mood perking up a little at the sight of him and Gwen as children.
"God," he thought "It was uncanny how much his sons looked like him."
" Yeah. " she said putting the album to the side. "You know Ethan I have loved you since you I was a little girl. I still remember the first time that I saw you. We were at summer camp."
"The Greystone Camp for Children," interrupted Ethan smiling as he recalled those days.
"Turning girls and boys to ladies and gents," they laughed as they said it together.
"You remembered," smiled Gwen reveling in their sweet nostalgia.
"Hey how could I forget the prettiest little girl with the cutest pig tails. You were pretty hot in that blue one piece you know," smiled Ethan kneading Gwen's arm playfully.
"I remember looking at you and just knowing. You know how people say that their life just changes in an instant that one glance is all it takes and they know that they are looking at the person that they were meant to be with. That's how I felt when I saw you Ethan at 12 years old I just knew that you were the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I have loved you for so long Ethan and deep down inside there was always this part of me that knew that no matter how much I loved you know matter how much you loved me it just would never be enough."
"Shhh," said Ethan wiping the tears off of her f iancee's face. "There is no reason too.."
"Oh God Ethan," said Gwen taking Ethan's hand to her lips and kissing it with her tear stained face. "You're wrong their is every reason in the world to go down this road. There is you and me and your family."
"Look Gwen if my parents or Sheridan said something to upset you..."
'No Ethan I'm talking about Theresa and you sons. I'm talking about your family. You belong with them Ethan. You always have, I suppose that I always knew that. Deep down inside I always knew that I wasn't the one for you, but its hard its so hard. When you love some one for as long as I loved you its hard to even begin to imagine what your life would be like without them. I guess the truth is that you have been such a big part of my life for so long that I felt that without you I would have nothing."
"Gwen that's not true..."
"I know its not," said Gwen smiling through her tears and moving up and turning away from Ethan as she moved away from the couch. "It never was. Ethan why aren't we married yet? I mean we've been together for so long why aren't we married?"
"We just never got around to it."
"I don't think that's it. I think that maybe we're not ready because we didn't want to be. That maybe we were both to busy waiting for Theresa to come back into our lives that we couldn't bring ourselves to take that next step."
Gwen that's not true," said Ethan moving towards his fiancee."
"Isn't it?"
"Ethan you are so good and so noble and so focused on doing the right thing,. And that's one of the reasons I am so in love with you. But its time now that you do the right thing for yourself and for your children. They need you Ethan and you need them. And I need to try to find out what life is like beyond Ethan Crane"
Ethan just stared at Gwen through his own tears and brought his hand to her face. His heart was breaking at at that moment he finally realized the extent of her love for him and the depth of his own for her.
"I do love you Gwen I always have since that very first day."
"I know and it was pure and sweet and real, but it just didn't grow the way that it should have. It never grew into the kind of love that you have for the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. And its nobody's fault. Not yours not mine not even Theresa's. Its just the way it worked out."
"What will you do?" asked Ethan wiping away his tears.
"I'm going back to Europe my father is opening up a new office there and he asked me to run it. I turned him down because I knew you wouldn't want to be that far away from your children, but now that we're over I guess its not an issue."
"If there is anything I can do let me know."
"Thanks, but I'm going to be ok. "
"I know," he said smiling.
"Here," said Gwen taking off her engagement ring and handing it to Ethan.
No," said Ethan shaking his head and placing the ring back in the palm
of Gwen's right hand. "Keep it and think about the good times."
Gwen starred at Ethan for a moment wanting to mesmerize his face. Wanting
to remember how he made her feel before they left each others lives for
what might be forever. She moved towards him and took his face in her hands
and kissed the forehead of the boy and the the man that she loved and would
always love. Go after them Ethan. Go after your family. Find the happiness
and the love that you deserve."
"You too," he whispered bringing her into his arms. "You too."